This week's lesson hit home pretty hard. If God was ever trying to get my attention, He pretty much hit it out of the park with me not being able to walk so that I could simply be still. I'll just be honest and say that of course, being on crutches is no fun and it has taught me to look at others' disabilities with new eyes (I have a co-worker who is crippled and uses a cane). I've shared many tears this week and lived with the disappointments of not getting to do all the things I'm use to doing. Something as simple as picking my own underwear up off the bathroom floor! I still struggle with going to the bathroom and the fact that I have leftovers in my fridge that are a week and a half old is about to kill me! I can't believe I'm even about to say this, but I'm missing my morning walks with 100% humidity!!
The most important thing I learned: This week I learned what an 'identity' and an 'iddiction' (not a typo) is and the difference between the two. I can't describe it any better than Jennifer Rothschild did, so I will just quote her:
"An Iddict is someone who is addicted to herself - her wants, her wisdom, her whims, her way. And if you are an Iddict, it is because you are trying to find your identity in yourself - Iddiction. When we go to food or shopping to satisfy our esteem needs, when we find our sense of self in our career, appearance, or the impression we make on others, when our kids' behavior, our homes, or our successes make us feel like somebody, it's because we haven't identified fully with our identity in God and, therefore, we act of our Iddictions rather than our identity." - Hosea by Jennifer Rothschild, page 44.
According to the study, my 'identity' is found in Christ: I am loved and chosen. Once I grasp this concept and begin to apply it (again) to my life, all the other "stuff" doesn't matter. Does that make sense? I know that my job, my family, and everything I have comes from God. And I believe that, but my problem is that I don't always live my life like what I know and believe, which is the continual struggle among the Christian faith. Our desire is there, but I believe - in my own struggle, at least - our actions don't always align with those desires.