As mamas, we have dreams for our daughters, too. Alise was going to dance, she was going to wear big bows in her hair and smocked dresses for the rest of her life. She was going to have blonde hair and blue eyes and she was going to do all the things that I was always too scared to do. And she was going to cheer.
And now she's not.
For some mamas, this is not a big deal. A part of me is relieved actually. This past year has been crazy with all the things that we cheer moms have had to do. The carpooling back and forth from school to the gym, and back to school, the 6:15 am pep rally calls, the bullying, the lost bows, the right uniform, the no communication, the disappointment on her face, and all the other drama (and money!) that comes with being a cheerleader. It's been hard and it's been tiring. For both of us.
Learning to love the dream.
It's not about me anymore. It's about her. It's her dream, her decisions now. So when she told me last week, "Mama, I don't want to cheer next year," my heart fell. Was I disappointed? Yes. Did I cry? Maybe a few tears, but it wasn't a full-blown meltdown like I always thought it would be if this day ever arrived. I have to say, I even surprised myself. I simply said, "Alise, it's your decision. I love you and I want you to be happy. If you're not happy being a cheerleader, then it's time to stop."
Two things. I never wanted her to keep doing something because she was afraid of disappointing me or her daddy. And I didn't want her to quit anything because one of her friends talked her into it. I always wanted it to be her decision.
And so it is.
The other part of be is like, ok, been there, done that, now let's move on.
And I will. But it's hard when your dreams for your kids don't come true.
I've always told my girls, "You do you."
And I realize that's just what she's doing.