Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Proposed Olympic Events I Would Gold Medal In

This post is coming to you via one of my favorite bloggers from about ten years ago, that unfortunately doesn't blog anymore. I still follow Jennifer on Facebook and Instagram, and today's post title was her status earlier this week. She also wrote, "Uniforms will obviously be orange and have built in SPANX. Also matching statement necklaces." She had me at SPANX. But the orange? Not so much {Jennifer's a die-hard Clemson fan!}. I would totally have to substitute for red. Just sayin.

So today I thought I would share some of my own olympic events that I would tee-totally own gold in.  Here we go:

Big Hair Sculpting - I've discussed this "event" with y'all LOTS of times before, but seriously, I have Dolly Pardon to thank as my coach back in the '70's and '80's. As a seven or eight year old little girl, she was my idol and I could belt out the ORIGINAL version of "I Will Always Love You" like nobody's business! Dolly and I were tight and I just want to go ahead and thank God for allowing me to be an #80sgirlforever!


Mean Mom Relay - This event needs no introduction. It's chalked full of the meanest and baddest moms that ever lived!  Y'all know what I'm talking about!  The kind of moms that take away your ipad because you've had all summer to do your reading assignment and school starts next week. The kind of moms that vent and raise hell because you overdrew your checking account. The moms that say, "I don't care what such-n-such's mama does, I'M YOUR mother! Now go clean your room!" Yea. I think you get it.



Cupcake and/or Chocolate Cake Toss Up - Notice the "and/or." I can make a mean chocolate cake. From scratch. Just ask Leigh. But I like "buying" cupcakes, too, so there's a toss up. Either way, it's cake and I can totally rock the podium with some cake! After the Mean Mom Relay, of course!

Knuckle Bumping - I have been popping my knuckes since I was in the 8th grade.  My math teacher had a HORRIBLE habit of doing it in class and thus began my habit as well. I can't tell you how many times I've been told that if "you don't stop popping your knuckles, they're going to be huge." Lies.  All lies. My knuckles are fine and I continue to pop them every day all day.  Take that!


Olympic Cheerleader - When Alise and I were cleaning out her closet a few weeks ago {Seven bags of garbage/give away stuff, y'all - SEVEN black garbage bags!}, I found my old high school pom poms. You know, they don't even call them that anymore; they just call them, "poms." Anyway, I had given her my old set years ago to play with and of course, now she doesn't want to have anything to do with them, so in the trash they went {those things were nearly 30 years old!}. The fact is, I would totally win a gold medal in cheering for my girls! I love cheering for Alise whether she's cheering on the football field and peprallies or playing basketball and softball. And I love cheering for my Big Girl when's she's on the court {hoping she gets to start this season!}! Numbers 10 for Alise and 25 for S have become my favorites! #winbigorgohome

Other Olympic Thoughts

The Derek Redmond and Kerri Strug you tube clips get me every. single. time. I remember seeing Kerri's injury live. Wayne and I could not believe what we were seeing on TV.  It still gives me chills just thinking about it.

I have a new respect for Mr. Phelps. I've read that since the last summer olympics and since his DUI issues, he has become a Christian. He read, 40 Days of Purpose by Rick Warren. I hope he does well in Rio.

I was so happy to see Nadia Comaneci in the stands Sunday night. #theyoungandtherestless

Rio would not be my favorite place to go for the Olympics. #waterissuesmuch But I have always wanted to see that big Jesus statue on the hill.

I've loved watching the Olympics this year with my girls. Kinda strange to be watching with a "real athlete" - Ha!  But S and I have come to the conclusion that all her years of competitive swimming have given her a swimmers body and no boobs - much to her dislike.

And speaking of Mr. Phelps, have you wondered what those "polka dots" are on his shoulders and back? Look up "cupping."

Thank you, Jennifer, for the blog post idea today!

Linking up this week with: Waltzing in Beauty, Grammie Time, Home of Malones, Momfessionals, 5 on Friday.

13 comments:

  1. OH my gosh, I just love this post so much! Like seriously you are hilarious! And yes to the Olympics I was shocked that Nadia was in the stands supporting her one athlete up there. Gosh, I love the Olympics and that it just brings everyone together for a common goal. No matter the language you speak everyone speaks healthy competition. The one bad thing...I get NO sleep! I'll join you on that Mean Mom Relay :)

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    1. Yes, I felt sad for the one Romanian gymnast, too!

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  2. I totally remember the kerri Shrug thing too watching it LIVE. I can remember exactly where I was at too. It was so powerful when the coach came & carried her off. That's the stuff movies are made of.

    HAHA - DOLLY PARDON FOREVER!!!! My mom ALWAYS had an album of hers playing on the record player when I was growing up.

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    1. Record player! Now THAT'S something I haven't heard in a while!

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  3. Such a fabulous post idea!! We'd be competing against each other for a few, lol!! I loved seeing Nadia too, so flippin cute!! Michael Phelps is a true story to tell of redemption and I think that's part of what I love so much...the stories!!!! You'd have some good stories sista!!! And I'd give you the Gold!!

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    1. Hey, Girl! I'm trying to catch up, but I am so far behind in Blog Land! Hope you are staying cool up there where you are! It is SO dang hot down here! School starts next week! Eek!!

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  4. What a cute and enjoyable post! And, the poka dots on Michael Phelps, oh, my goodness, that cupping looks so painful. And, until I heard what it was it was a real distraction for me. :o))

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    1. It was a distraction for me, too, Lea! I was like, WHAT is wrong with him? I'm learning from S that being an athlete is tough! She already has so many aches and pains and she's only 22!!

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  5. I'm craving chocolate cake now!!

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    1. Me, too, but Peach Cobbler won out this week! Ha!

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  6. This was so fun to read! I may have to borrow this topic before the end of the Olympics. I think I could definitely be on the Mean Mom team with you, so we might have a chance of bringing home the gold as a team, too! ;)

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    1. Would love to be on the Mean Mom team with you, too! We're loving the Olympics! Go USA!

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  7. Definitely in for the big hair sculpting! Ha! Fun post

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