Thursday, July 14, 2016

Feeling 22

Dear S,

I know Miss Swift is not exactly in your circle of favorite arteests, but I can't help the fact that Rihanna didn't come up with the song, "22" first. So please forgive me if this post is sappy "annoying" - as you like to say so much! - and just accept the fact that I lean more toward your name sake than you do! So in all T-Swizzle fan-fare and fashion, "HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL! We love you!"

I don't like basketball.  You know that. I wasn't even suppose to go to that game nearly a year ago, but Jennifer and Wayne both begged me to and so I did. Little did I know how much my life was about to change by a VERY tall women's basketball player. That blonde hair just stood out and no one could help but NOT watch you on the court. You made your home debut at that game and I remember thinking, "Oh, I bet her parents are so proud of her!"


Life is tough and full of disappointments, but I don't have to tell you that.  I wish I had the answers to so many of your "whys" but unfortunately, I don't. You deserved so much more, Baby Girl. People make mistakes and bad decisions all the time without knowing the effect they have on others or even themselves. This, I'm sure of. However, I do believe in second chances. Having a second chance is the joy of hoping and thinking, ya know? I'm gonna get it right this time! God has blessed us both with second chances. You will never know the prayers that have gone up for you and I continue to pray that one day you will be with us forever. I'm not happy with your potty mouth or most some of the things you share on FB, and I don't always understand why you do some of the things that you do, but I continue to love. No matter what. And I totally dig our pinky promises. Just sayin.


I can't get over the transformation you've made since last fall. The shy, barely-says-three-words beauty has become more confidant and "real" than I ever imagined. I know it's hard for you to let people into your life, but I am so glad you've included us. My happiest moments are when I look up from the kitchen and see you and Alise on the couch truly being sisters. If you had told me in the fall that you would "live for family nights because family is important," I would have said you were lying. In your very own way with words, you asked me once, "Have you ever seen the movie, The Blindside?" I said, yes, and we looked at each other for a few short moments and said nothing. Because there simply were no words. It was a moment; an understanding, and I realized then, that I was exactly where I needed to be in my life. I struggle so much with being the mom you've asked me to be and the good friend you need. I struggle with having a twenty-two year old and an eleven year old. There are days when I feel like it's three steps forward and two steps back with you, but I would like to think that one day it will all be worth it.


And now, your senior year is here! Your last year of playing the sport you love so much and I will never understand and your last year of studies that is, if you pass Latin.  I know I've told you before, but I am so proud of you, S! This is your year to shine and I can't wait to see all the great things God is going to do in your life simply because a forty-three year old mom got a second chance when a twenty-two year old asked her to be her mother. I will forever be

Your biggest fan,
Mom

7 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday you gorgeous blonde bombshell Miss S!! I'd say you got the sweet mama jackpot with Laura!! You're both lucky to have found each other and I have not doubt your blessings are only gonna grow and grow!! Enjoy your day, I know mama Horton will make it special for you cause let's face it....she's pretty magnificent!!

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    1. Awwww! Thank you, BBFF!! We had a GREAT time celebrating Blondie in NOLA!

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  2. She's so beautiful!Happy birthday to your baby!

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    1. Thank you, Rebecca Jo! I think so too!

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  3. Oh, this made me teary eyed...and I'm not usually a cryer! I don't know your whole story, but what an amazing season you're in right now! I'm so thankful to have found your blog because you seem so real, so genuine, so loving and most of all so accepting! I'm adding you to my prayer list right now. Even though I don't know all the details, it doesn't matter...God does! Xoxo!

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    1. Thanks so much, Emily! Our story is pretty amazing!

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  4. Wow, what an awesome responsibility you took on but what a blessing to S. You may never know the full effect you and your family have had on her life. May the Lord continue to give you wisdom for this journey.

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