Monday, April 04, 2016

I Don't Even Know What To Title This!

So, I've been having some heart-to-heart talks with two of my girls.

And I've come to the conclusion that it's time to have "the talk" with one of them. Not because of anything she's said recently, but more because of the company of friends she'll be keeping with the whole cheer thing.  I mean, think about it!  There's a big age difference between a 6th grader and an 8th grader. You can read about my first "trial and run" with the three letter word HERE. Yep! I seriously wanted to crawl under a greasy Wendy's table and die that day!

I WILL say that I've come a loooong way since that night and so has Baby Girl. Although we've had the discussion about what happens monthly - she probably needs a refresher - I have yet since then talked to her about the three letter word. And I'm not about to get in an arguement about whether or not she already knows and what she hears at school and from her friends, and blah, blah, blah.  She hasn't heard it from ME. And I'm her mother.

I'll just be honest. I'm scared.

And there's a part of me that doesn't want to talk about it, because then she'll know.

KNOW.

KNOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW.

Remember that post when I interviewed Alise and one of the questions was, "What does Mommie and Daddy do after you go to bed at night?!"

And she answered, "Watch TV."

Yea.

Well, we do watch TV.  And eat popcorn late at night. But still.

I mean, really. She's gonna KNOOOOWWW and realize all those times we sneak off or what date night really means or that maybe we DON'T actually watch TV after she goes to bed and I just...I just...

Maybe I'm blowing it all out of proportion!  I mean, when I was eleven years old, I didn't think about my parents in that way (and I had had the talk with my mom)!  And it grosses me out to think about them now! I didn't think about what they might be doing while I slept over at a friend's house. I was oblivious, I guess.

But Alise isn't like that. She's possessive and jealous. She's not fond of Wayne and I even kissing in the kitchen. And I've tried telling her that moma and daddy need time just to talk to each other, ya know? And she gets it for a while and then she's right back there between us.

Bottom line: When I tell her that it's something special that moma and daddy do because we love each other, she's gonna be jealous and be right up under my arm pit to make sure we never have the opportunity again. Ever.

I've got to do it.  I've just got to put my big girl panties on and do it. I've got to be serious and honest.

And I will.  I plan to do some Christian research about how to talk to her about it. And that research may take a while...

My friend, Jennifer, told me to record the conversation so she could use it for her daughter.

Yea, right!  Like I want ANYONE hearing me flounder and stutter and hem-haw around about this!  I told her, "Sister, you're on your own!"

This is enough information for one day, and I apologize for the sensitivity, but this is something that I'm REALLY struggling with right now. I mean, this is important stuff! And I realize it's more than her just being under my arm pit!  It's mechanics, it's pregnancy, it's disease, it's about saving something special that God gave you, it's about questions.....oh, Lord, the questions!!

I'll save my other girl for another day.

12 comments:

  1. You got this mama!! So hard yet so important to come from you. There is no doubt in my mind that you will tackle this with sensitivity and doing your research will definitely help especially with the Christian approach! Yeah recording it might not be such a good idea, better to just do it and be done with it like Mr. Nine would say, lol. Prayers for you my friend, lifting you up for the peace and the strength to help your baby girl understand the beauty of that aspect of life. One day, even though it might be difficult to absorb now, she'll be grateful for it and so will you sweet friend!! Hugs!!!

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    1. Thank you so much, Sweet Friend! You made me cry!

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  2. Never easy to talk about, but best it comes from mom rather than a peer who is clueless!! My Elie is a huge proponent of kids being informed as a high school teacher and coach, even if that means through the school system. So many have parents that never say a word, or have come from bad circumstances and don't know any different. So many deal with "things" waaaay too young these days. They need to be informed and know right from wrong, and what IS and ISN'T appropriate for their protection.
    Consider this when your nerves creep in, it is a privilege to be able to share that with your child and to be able to do so in a loving Christian home. So many don't have that! My girls can attest to the fact that some of our most "awkward" times were the times we were the closest and laugh about now. Something a friend shared and I and others have found so helpful was the use of a "special notebook". Share with her, ask if she has questions, but know she may NOT want to "talk" about it. But, offer to let her write her questions down knowing you will 1)read them in privacy and 2)answer them for her to read in privacy. It works!!
    Praying for you!!

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    1. Thanks so much, Lauren. You brought tears to my eyes, too! Thank you for the notebook idea. I will seriously consider it! Love you!

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  3. This is my favorite, favorite subject! Yes, and I had to do it with three daughters. Laura, it is time. Before she hears the crap others will tell her. There are a lot of good Christian books out there and they help, but momma knows best and momma's values are the values you want her to hear - FIRST! Start it out and only give her what you think she is ready for, but first, you need to be ready. Questions do come up and the best way to answer is honestly. Sex in a marriage is a beautiful thing and every girl needs to understand this before their peers get a hold of the ugliness with it. It begins earlier too nowadays. Tip: It isn't just a one time talk either, look, listen and be ready anytime you see she is struggling with things. Open communication so she knows she can come to you with anything. Okay, this grammie is done preaching. You will do just fine!

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    1. Thanks so much, Michelle for the encouragement! It's interesting that you said this talk will be an ongoing thing. I read somewhere a few weeks ago about a father starting out talking to his son about this subject saying something like, "This is something that we'll be talking about off and on for a long time to come." I SO want Alise to feel comfortable talking to me about this and this moma wants to feel comfortable, too!

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  4. Laura, you are going to do fine and I'm betting that Alise is going to handle it better than you are expecting. The first time will definitely be the hardest and it will get easier and, I hate to say it, but she may well know more than you think she does. I'll sure be praying for you. Hugs!

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  5. So difficult, and so important! Having two boys, they did not want to hear about any of this from me, so my husband got the duty! You will do great, and your daughter will handle it better than you think!

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    1. Thank you, Lana for the encouragement!

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  6. Can I pleassseee send Sofia to you??? I just don't wanna do it!!

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    1. You get it, Girl! You understand my pain! UGH!! You and Fia come over here and we'll do it together! Ha! We might need a glass of wine first!

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