Tuesday, May 05, 2015

The Day We Prayed

Alise is struggling with her fears.  She has had her back handspring for a while and can do it on a slanted mat and an air mat.  But when her coach asks her to do it on the gym floor, she freezes because she's scared.  I'm not talking about a gym floor at school, I'm referring to one of those "springy floors" they have at gymnastics.  She simply can't do it.  Something in her mind has got her believing that if she does it on the floor, she's going to get hurt.  I just feel like if she could do it just one time, she'd be fine.  But it's to the point where I'm wasting money and she's wasting her coach's time.

I'm not sure if cheerleading is a big deal where you live, but where we are, it is. Girls do not make the squad if they can't do a back handspring and a few other tumbling moves {that scare me half to death!}.  When I told Alise that, she told me that there are girls on our varsity squad that can't do a bhs and I just don't know how truthful that is. I've seen our varsity squad at the gym where Alise goes and they're all practicing and tumbling. I just don't think Alise understands that if she really wants to be a cheerleader - and she says she does - that she's got to be able to tumble as well.

A few weeks ago, Alise came in the bathroom where I was putting on my make up and asked, "Moma, will you be mad at me if I don't tumble?  I mean, I sorta want to do it and I sorta don't." I just stopped what I was doing and looked at her.  My mind went completely blank for a few seconds. And then I heard, "Pray with her about this."  And then I heard another voice, "You don't need to pray about this.  It's a waste of time.  Just tell her she's going to do it."  So I took her hand and led her over to our bed and said, "Let's just pray about it," and I prayed for her.  I prayed that God would calm her fears and if He wants her to be a cheerleader, that He would reveal His plan to her. 

I'm ashamed to say that that day was the first time that Alise and I prayed together over something that was really bothering her.  And the enemy has given me hell about it, too.  As soon as Alise walked out of our bedroom - feeling better and almost with a sense of anticipation of what God was going to do in her life- he started.  "You should have been doing this all along.  You should have been praying with her more. What kind of mother are you that she's so scared you'll be mad at her if she quits?"  But the truth is, I HAVE prayed with her before, but her concerns always seemed so trivial until now.  Which reminded me that she's growing up and I'm probably about to undergo the biggest fight of my life with the teen years! I have always prayed for my daughter, but that day made me realize that I needed to begin to pray differently.

We haven't been to tumbling in a few weeks because of the cruise and her coach has had some family issues and had to fly home.  I simply don't know what to do other than continue to pray for Alise.  I've also realized that I've got to put aside my own hopes and dreams for her so that she can live the dreams that God has for her.  And that is SO HARD for me to do!  It was hard for me to let go of my own dreams all those years ago and accept that God had something bigger in mind.  Yet I was so glad that I did, because His plans have always been so much better than I could have ever imagined.

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  - Jeremiah 29:11

And just now, as I was finishing up this post, Alise came in to kiss me good night and she said, "Mom, E told me his parents may be getting a divorce and A's mom says that she hates her life.  I'm just going to pray for my friends tonight."  I nearly cried.  First of all, for just the pain in this world and what our kids are going through.  And secondly, for Alise's response to pray for her friends.  I love that girl!  Thank you, Jesus!


13 comments:

  1. That last paragraph about her friends choked me up. Because bigger things are happening in her life everyday and unfortunately, they fear internally that maybe the same things can happen to them. Wise mama you are. praying with her. My three girls are grown up now and I remember times dropping to our knees when I didn't have the right answer for them. And then, the hard part, WAITING on God to answer. She put others before herself and you should be proud! Have a blessed day. From Tuesday Talk

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    1. Thanks, for stopping by Michelle. And yes! I can tell that Alise fears the same things her friends go through with family life. A few years ago, a friend of hers' parents divorced and she asked me nearly everyday if Wayne and I were ever going to get a divorce. I reassured her, of course, that we weren't (divorce a word in our vocabulary), but I could tell the situation worried her. Enjoy your Tuesday!

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  2. Such a sweet girl!!

    But on the tumbling note - is she trying her back handspring standing on the mat? Is he spotting her? Has she tried a round off backhand spring? Sometimes the running tumbling is a lot easier and the girls really get the feel for the mat.

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  3. Yay for praying together, it's a wonderful ha it to make. Grant and I pray together daily, sometimes about big stuff and sometimes it's just big stuff to him. It's so important our kids know God and U.S. care about what's going on with them, big or small.

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  4. Thanks for writing this post. I always feel a little awkward praying out loud with my kids, but they are at an age when this can really help them and guide them in doing it themselves. And yes, the problems they are facing in the next several years are definitely bigger than they used to be as little kids!

    Also, I am learning that the tween/teen years are all about giving them choices in what extracurricular things they do and want to continue. Grace stopped piano lessons this year after taking for 5 years. It was becoming a battle of the wills to get her to practice, and she just wasn't enjoying it anymore. I had to "let it go."

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  5. You need prayers too - it's hard to know when to push and when to just listen. You're a good mama and you'll figure it out :-)
    P.S. My daughters did many years of high level gymnastics and I think a round off back handspring is a great way to change the mental block she has.

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  6. Love this! There is nothing too trivial for God. I will say we have been through those kind of fears with both of the girls. While skating we called it the "million dollar axle", in tumbling the "million dollar back handspring", etc. They had to attempt each about a million times and it cost us about a million (not really, but you get the point) before they got it. And, once they did they/we/the coaches questioned what took so dang long. LOL But, we have also watched the girls give up things "we" wanted them to continue. Sometimes, well most times, out of being selfish...their world had become our world, their friends/families, our friends and family. But, each time God knew best and each time we got through the changes...with a lot of prayer! Alise is at an age where trying many different things is good. She has time to decide if she wants to cheer, or pursue something els altogether. When Elie decided not to skate anymore, we were shocked. But, we had told both girls that when it was no longer fun, they were no longer enjoying it, then it was time to stop. Her coach told us to let her take the time off, if she misses it, she CAN come back. It is OK to take a break. It may be just what she needs for right now. She may return to it, she may not. Most importantly, she is an amazing young lady...worrying/praying/caring about her sweet friends and realizing how hard things are for them. Most kids her age are soley focused on themselves, what's in it for them. You've done good momma!!

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Lauren!

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  7. I have always struggled with this too Laura! I have gotten better but it still is not typically the first thing I head towards when my kids start battling something. I am always amazed though at the peace it typically brings my Littles when I do stop and pray with them. This is a hard area....you want them to be involved but it also has to be something they are totally in love with. I have 3 kids who loved sports which was perfect since that "fits" me....but Carly Jo is just not into it. I continue to try and offer options to her and I worry about all her friends moving on because they are involved in lots of things but at the end of the day if she isn't loving it the work is all on me to get a grumpy girl off to practice something she doesn't love and really isn't confident about. My rule is always that once they commit to something they have to finish...but after that if they don't want to continue I allow them to quit. Prayers momma....you are doing a great job!

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  8. Visited you from the linkup, and I'm so glad I did! My husband and I pray together every night, and it has reminded me how much peace instantly comes when we invite the Lord into our situations. There are times that I should stop and pray with him instead of waiting until the end of the night. Thank you for the encouragement!

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    1. Thank you for commenting, Whitney! Peace was my word of the year for 2014. I'm still learning.

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  9. This is just beautiful, Laura, and is a reflection of what a great mother you are. I'm on the other end of the teen years, and it's so hard sometimes to set aside our expectations and wants for them. The best thing we can do is pray, and follow the path that God lays out for them. Love this!

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  10. I love that your prayed with her. This is something that I need to start doing. Olivia needs this in her life I think, and I don't nurture it enough or at all sometimes. It makes my heart sad to hear about her friends, kids are dealing with so much these days, it is not easy. What a great girl to say she was going to pray for them...that shows right there, that you are doing a great job!

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