Tuesday, July 08, 2014

On My Soap Box Again

I mentioned Scarlett O'Hara yesterday and that I consider myself the prima donna of a Southern Belle.  If it hadn't been for the lack of air conditioning back then {I know what you're thinking!  Here she goes again!!  But you're wrong}, I really think I could have survived the hoop skirt era {and just for the record, my next favorite decade would be the Roaring 20's}.

Later yesterday, I read another blogger's "Old School Southern Rules" post which led me to surfing the internet for Southern Manners.  I found this article - Manners For The Modern Southern Belle - and I think it's a funny, yet must-read for every woman and young lady.

Why?

Because our manners and congeniality are dying away, y'all!!  And not just in the South!

People have become rude, unkind, uncaring, and down-right mean and hateful in our society!  There is SUCH a sense of "entitlement" these days!  I truly believe that manners  - the lack thereof - and the disintegration of the family relationship have played a huge part in why our country has gone to pot!  I believe I first noticed this about eight years ago when a friend from high school died unexpectedly.  Do you know that only a handful of our graduating class of 350 went to this man's funeral?!  I was shocked!  Where were the class mates that still lived locally?  Where were the class mates that had gone to school with Kenny all our lives? Since first grade?  People simply don't go to funerals anymore.  People my age and below.  I witnessed nearly the same thing a few years ago when a friend's mother died!  From experience, I can tell you for a fact that the friends that came to Wayne's dad's funeral sixteen years ago, having them there meant the world to us!!  Friends that Wayne had not even spoken to in a while came and paid their respects!  Last summer, we drove eight freaking hours to be at Angie's dad's funeral.  And you may think, well, you're just a "funeral-goer."  No, I'm not.  I probably don't go to every funeral I should go to, but I at least pay my respects to my friends and their family.  That's what it's all about: RESPECT!

Girls in this age don't cook anymore.  They don't know that you should take a meal when there is a death or a birth or sickness in the family.  I take food to friends when they have the flu!

Alise has gotten in the bad habit of walking through a door at a restaurant or store and letting it go behind her.  I  can't tell you how many times I've had a glass door slammed on me recently.  So I'm working on teaching her to hold the door open for people when they are following her no matter who it may be.  A few years ago, she had a bad habit of leaving her friends in the bathroom {public places}.  She'd wash her hands and out the door she'd go.  I'm like, "Alise, wait on so-and-so.  Never leave a friend behind."  The whole thing of "please," "yes, ma'am," and "thank you" are manners that we still have to remind her off and I am so glad that we started young!

It's not just my kid.  It's not just people that don't go to funerals.  It's the healthcare industry as well!  How do you teach someone empathy?  How do you teach someone to care?  Today's nurses are getting a bad rep for their lack of caring and how they treat their patients.  Hospitals are being reimbursed based on the way nurses treat their patients.  Did you know this?  We're teaching Alise to put herself in that person's shoes.  "How would you feel if...?"  We're talking, we're communicating with her and that's something that parents don't do anymore!

I'm not saying that we are perfect parents because we're not.  And Alise isn't perfect, either.  We don't parent the way our parents parented us.  But at least we're trying.  I think if parents, nurses - people in general - would just try, our world would be better place.  Teach your kids and grandkids! Teach them right from wrong.  Encourage them to always make the right decision.  Show them how they could have made a better decision.  Take them to church.  Show them what it means to really love someone.  Spend time with your kids and don't expect them to "get it" from school or even church.  Like I read somewhere yesterday, we as parents are the best - and sometimes only - role models our kids will ever see.

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