Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The Day I Nearly Died

I'm divying away from Jenna's topic today so I can share my near-death experience with you.

Y'all, I nearly died yesterday.

Actually, I DID die one death.  The death of t-total embarrassment.

Imagine sitting in a dining room with 150 professionals.  I'm talking CPAs, lawyers, and bankers.  The purpose of the luncheon was for continuing education and the topic was "Future Impact of the 2010 Patient Protection & Affordable Care Act."

It's a very nice dining room overlooking a peacful bayou and the wait staff is dressed in long sleeved white shirts and black shiny vests.

As the speaker begins his power point presentation, lunch, consisiting of roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy and steamed vegetables, is being served to all the guests.

Ten minutes into the presentation, I take a bite of roast beef.  I swallow.  I try to swallow again.  And again.  My eyes begin to tear up and it hits me that I can. not. breath.  Trying to cough comes to mind, but I'm worried I'll make it worse and I am so scared because I can't breath.  I'm gasping for air and I grab the lady's hand beside me and somehow I managed to say, "Can't breath."  She jumps up and says to our table of ten, "Can someone please help her?  She's choking.  She's choking and I don't know how to do the heimlich!"

Certainly words that no choking person ever wants to hear while a piece of roast beef is lodged in their throat.

The whole situation was in slow motion.  My no-heimlich maneuver friend and I were the only females at the table.  The rest were men.  I think everyone thought that whatever I was choking on would eventually make it's way down.  In my mind, I was thinking, "Go down, go down," as I was gasping for air.  For the first time in my life, I really, really thought I was going to die.

Finally, the gentleman beside me, a loan officer for a local bank, got out of his chair and hit me on the back.  I barely remember it, but it didn't hurt.  Then he put his arms around me and before he squeezed, I heard several people saying, "Stand her up!  Stand her up!"

I always thought the heimlich maneuver would hurt, but it didn't.  Mr. Bank Officer gave me the slightest squeeze upward and honest to God, I don't know where that piece of meat went.  I'm just hoping and praying that it didn't go flying across the room and land on someone else's plate {I know that's gross, but that's what I was honestly thinking!}!!

I have never been so scared in all my life.

I sat back down in my seat and all I could say through my tears was, "I am so sorry.  I am so sorry."   Everyone at my table was like, "Don't apologize.  We're just glad you're okay."

So, of course, then the embarrassment sets in, but I sucked it up and sat through the remainder of the meeting.  I didn't eat another bite.  One of the sweet waitresses who reminded me of Mammie in Gone With The Wind came over and checked on me.  She said, "I'm keeping my eye on you."  I cried for a little bit and wiped my snotty nose with my napkin and silently prayed that the speaker and Mr. Obama would take their medical care and shove it!

After the seminar was over, I was ready to BOLT from the dining room.  But serveral people came over to my table to check on me.  I prayed I still didn't have snot running out of my nose as I reassured them that I was feeling MUCH better.  I also asked Mr. Bank Officer what his name was and he told me.  I gave him a heartfelt thank you and a hug.  One lady came up to me - didn't even ask how I was doing - and said, "I just love your hair!  Is it naturally curly?"

Needless to say, I went home yesterday and did absolutely nothing.  I'm living on Diet Coke because I have no desire to stick anything in my mouth ever again.

Good Lord, what a day!


  1. Ohmygoodness!! I am so sorry!!! I can understand how you were so embarassed but man, I'm just so sorry this happened to you!!! I'm so glad you were okay

    Stopping by from Jenna's

  2. Bless. Your. Heart!

    I am sooo glad you are okay. I would have been mortified too. I hate "eyes on me" or any reason for people to watch me.

  3. OMG bless your heart! I'm just glad you are ok!!!

  4. OH MY Heavens!! I can not even beleive this! SO SO glad you are ok!!!

  5. Oh my goodness!!! Bless your sweet heart! How scary!! I am so glad that you are ok!

  6. Oh honey! How scary! So glad Mr. Banker Man was there and acted quickly!

  7. Oh. my. goodness. Girl! Thank the man to step up and do what needed to be done. Praise God for giving him the confidence and courage to saving your life. This day and time, people are scared to do what's right for fear of being sued.

    I'm so grateful to God that you are alright. The next time you eat, use smaller bites. {tehe!} I just joking. Oh, I'm so glad your okay. Shew! You have Wayne give you an extra hug tonight for me. Love you sweetie!