Tuesday, July 13, 2010

What I Do On A Sick Day

Let me first clarify that I was not the one sick.

It was Alise.

See, apparently her Daddy and I have been so busy trying to finish remodeling another house and buying appliances that we let our daughter eat everything and anything she wanted this weekend. It was just one of those situations where it was so much better to say, "I don't care," instead of listening to a bunch of whining and complaining along with coming up with sensible reasons for a lecture on why she could not have something to eat.

And we paid for it Sunday night around midnight.

Have you ever tried to function with a hurling kid while high on Tylenol PM?

It's not pretty.

And neither is regurgitated M&M cookies, blueberries, chips and salsa, and Power Cheese Goldfish.

But it only happened once - Thank you, Lord - and we all went back to sleep. Alise in our bed with me and Wayne on the couch.

So yesterday morning when I woke her up, she begged me not to take her to the daycare. All I could think is that it was year end and how much I really, really needed to go to work, but that I was still hung over from Tylenol PM and I sure could get alot of packing done if I just called in and kept her at home myself. Besides, it was a swim day at daycare and I didn't want to be known as the mom whose kid threw up in the daycare pool. So......

We stayed home.

And by 8:30, I had totally boxed up all my tuperware - which is a feat within itself because I have SO much of it, concocted a "special formula" of half vinegar and half baking soda to slosh on the tile mildew in the bathroom - yes, I am admitting that. I have discovered that vinegar and baking soda can cure the greatest of common ills (Alise said it smelled like glue!), and cursed myself because I no longer knew Dr. S's office phone number by heart. Had it been that long since we've seen Dr. S? And do you know what the receptionist asked me after I made the appointment???? She said, "Mrs. Horton, you have a $1.10 left on your balance and we will need you to pay that today when you come in." So by 8:30, I was ready to kill Dr. S's receptionist, too. Enough said. But what was I going to do? Say, "No, I'm only going to pay my $20 co-pay today?" Good grief! I can't even buy a coke at work for $1.10!!

And contrary to what you're probably thinking - that I was taking my child in to see the doctor to make myself feel better about letting her eat all that junk this weekend - well, you're wrong. You see, sometime between "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" and "Phinus & Ferb," Alise's ear started draining and the stench was so bad that I nearly decided to douse it with a little glue - I mean, vinegar and baking soda. Not really, but you get the point.

So by 2:00, we had seen Dr. S and been diagnosed with an ear infection (he told us we were really getting our money's worth out of that left tube and suggested we let Dr. D remove it), visited the library and had a meltdown because we could not find the "Miss Nelson is Missing" series on CD, dropped some things off for monogramming, AND picked up another 4 gallons of white paint, AND had lunch at O'Charley's. Alise's mouth did not stop the entire time.

My only respite was to take a nap. Which I did.

And when I woke up, we read books, I finished boxing up the kitchen and made a lasagna for supper.

And again I was reminded how I am simply NOT cut out to be a stay-at-home mom.

The End.


  1. Ewe, details of "What Alise ate for supper." HA! Poor baby, is she alright? Have you scheduled a time to get her tube out? Natalie (niece)had her tube in too long and had to have it surgically removed when she was little. It was no big deal.

    I know what you mean about the talking ALL THE TIME. If Katie knows that I'm not listening, she'll just talk to "Daisy", her imaginery friend. It can be a challenge being a stay-at-home mom, but I love it.

  2. You were so productive on Alise's sick day. I always think of the things I can get done when I keep Carter home but he is always so clingy and demanding that I can't get anything done.

    Hope Alise is feeling better!

  3. I need to have a productive day like you! Maybe I should call in sick tomorrow! HA! Hope Alise starts to feel better soon.

  4. I am so sorry. I am glad every day isn't like that. I hope Alise is better soon. Mary-Kate never stops talking. The child never takes a breath. She needs a talk show.

  5. I totally know what you mean about trying to function after the TPM kicks in. That is some good stuff!

    Tubes! Doesn't it kind of make you mad that they can still get infections with them in. Be glad it was draining funk not blood like Bo's did! I freaked!

  6. Anonymous10:39 PM