Wayne and I are handling our guilt in different ways. He is so much like a Daddy and just wants to make things better, right then and anyway he can. He went to Best Buy late last night and bought Alise new Wii games to play on their day “off.” He bought "Wii Fit" for me. Normally, I would have found his purchase of the "Wii Fit" a little insinuating and would have probably asked rather sarcastically if he thought I needed it so badly. But he was the one who ended up trying it out first and we had a good laugh between the two of us. Now I know why people are “Closet Wii-Fitters”!
I, on the other hand, handle my guilt by getting depressed and crying, not around Alise, of course. I’m having a hard time concentrating on anything and all of a sudden, Slim Fast even tastes good to me (it should after stuffing myself with pizza at 11:00 Saturday night). I can’t look at Alise’s sweet, scabby face without seeing the effects of a very poor decision. I keep replaying the whole thirty seconds in my head. I hate to tell anyone what happened because I know the first thing that goes through their mind is, “Why in the world did you have a three year old on a toy?” Gosh, if I just had those few seconds to live over. If only I had been using my “moma brain” instead of not using my brain at all.
We are so protective of her now. When she rode her bike for a few minutes yesterday, we hovered. I insist that she wear socks with "grippers" on the bottom so that she won't fall down on the hard wood floors. Absolutely no running. No practicing of cart wheels or rolls. No funny business on the couch or bed. No wrestling with Daddy.
I went home at lunch and took Wayne and Baby Girl something to eat. Can you believe she requested "onion rings"?! Of all things! It was the first time I had seen her all day because she was still in the bed when I left for work this morning. The left side of her face is still swollen and she is getting a black eye. It's purple right now. The middle part of her lip is still swollen, but not as much as it was. Wayne said he's had a hard time getting her to keep her hands off her face, but other than that, she's acted fine. Same ol' Alise.
I asked her if she wanted to go back to school tomorrow and she said, "Yes, ma'am! Can I wear a jumper tomorrow?" I was shocked and I'm still not sure as of right now if I will let her go back. I'm not sure how well her teachers will keep the ointment on her wounds and she doesn't need to get her face dirty. But I also don't want to burn a day of PTO if she's feeling fine and wants to see her friends again.
I apologize for not keeping up and commenting on everyone's blogs. I really am behind. I just haven't felt much like blogging lately, but I will try to catch up soon. Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement.