Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I Love you so much Baby Girl

Sometimes friends can say the most encouraging things to lift my spirits and sometimes those kind words will be like firecrackers (not the Chinese fake kind) that just go off in my mind and I think, “Okay! Wow! I get it!” Kinda like the “light bulb going off” theory. Mental note: Never underestimate the power of your words.

This morning, my boss stopped by my office and asked me how yesterday went (being a SAHM). She asked me if I was ready for tomorrow. I didn’t have the opportunity last week to tell her about my disappointment at PreK-3 orientation, so I told her this morning in our conversation. She said, “Laura, Alise is still so young. Being away from her friends is going to give her the opportunity to begin developing into her own unique person.” Bam! Firecracker!

I never really thought about Alise being away from her friends as a way of growing into the “big” girl that she will one day become. Sure, I believed this would be a great chance for her to meet new friends and form new friendships, but I didn’t see this opportunity as one of “personal” growth, too. Dare I say that I might be just a little bit curious as to how this whole school year pans out! And maybe that’s where I –as her mother – fall short. There is this constant struggle inside me for Alise to be my sweet baby that she has always been and the pride and admiration that comes from letting her spread her wings to fly. There is the guarding and then, the letting go.

So…? What did I do with this new-found realization?

I emailed Ms. K and I offered to bring snacks tomorrow because there was nobody to do it on the calendar for the first week of school. She emailed me back with a list of preferred snacks and thanked me very much. I’m going to like Ms. K.

So here I am. Alise is in bed. The backpack is ready and has been stuffed with an extra uniform, underwear and socks. I’ve included her new pillow and an old baby blanket that’s still in good shape. I remembered to put the red, “All About My Child” sheet in with those things, too. And the snacks are sitting beside my purse so that I don't forget them in the morning. Wayne has asked me twice since he's been home if I'm going to be okay tomorow. Both times my answer is, "I don't know." I simply don't know. All I do know is that I dread it with all my heart.

I tried twice tonight to upload another slide show and both times I lost everything I had uploaded. Ugh! I'll try another night, but for now, Alise's 3rd birthday picture will have to do.

I love you so much, Baby Girl!



  1. I will be thinking about you tomorrow! Hugs to you and Alise! It sounds like you are more than ready, I remember how nervous I was the night before Aidan's first day of Preschool! You're doing great!

  2. Just remember, I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Alise will do wonderful. Wish her well for me:)

  3. What a sweet post, Laura!!! :) You are such a wonderful mom!

  4. Hope the day goes well! I think things will be great!

  5. Anonymous9:51 AM

    Her first day of school is probably harder on you than it is on her. She's going to come home from school going on about how much fun they had and all of the new friends she's made and you're going to feel silly for having worried. Don't feel bad, though, you're her momma and you're supposed to worry, it's in the job description. :)
    PS -- my favorite pre-school snack was graham crackers sandwiches with a light layer of icing in the middle. Of course, when I was in pre-school in 1989, healthy snacks weren't the top priority. :)

  6. I'm praying for you and Alise today! I know you will both do great!

  7. My Mom always told me that her greatest accomplishment was raising me and my two sisters into happy, independent women. It's a huge calling but so true I think!

    I just love your photo slideshows!!!

  8. I am hoping things are going well today for both of you. I wish I could give you a great big hug. I can't wait to hear about her first day!